rly feeling mood-swingy these days.
and trying rly hard not to show it.
feeling so fake now.. :x
im juz glad i have this gd bunch of dance frens whom i see almost everyday..
and talking to them makes me forget my mood swings :X
okay weird. pple like happyfamily, qianlei, junyan etc..
tnx alot for being there for me! :)


i realised this morning..tt i haven been eating for 24 hrs ytd.
except for one stick of fishballs.
cool. omg.
yet... i din feel hungry at all cos i was like in a super lousy mood..
tinking bout all the things tt is happening around me right now.
lousy block test results, syf in 13 days, gethigh...
everyday i look forward to gg home...
yet i always have to wait till at least 7 to go home..
every single day..
and sometimes i can only reach home at 10+..
then try to do tutorials while keeping myself awake..
and then sleep at 1+ 2..
then wake up go school sleep..
and the cycle continues.
and sad to say..i have to wait for 1 june to officially retire from all these things.


so so so tired.
but i cant blame anyone but myself.
i could have rejected gethigh but i juz couldnt bring myself to do it cos i rly like singing and being with gefang pple. and if not for tt..i wouldnt have known so many new frens..
so yeah its all my fault
and i shouldnt be complaining.


and i slept for 2 hrs last night..
cos i spent like 3 hrs in bed tinking bout stuff.
think think think until cannot sleep.
im rly hopeless.
and i was supposed to study for the physics test for today..
but i didnt...cos i reached home at 9+ after music clinic..
and i haven recovered from the shock of receiving a call asking me to go all the way back to mc to get sth..when im close to home alr. :x
and then when i was told tt its okay if i dun go back to take..
i start to worry how impt the thing is.. and how shld i help..
so the whole thing's q screwed.
i tink im seriously not suitable for leadership roles..simply cos i worry too much.
omg. i rly hate this side of me.


worried bout not being able to get the feeling of the syf dance right..
worried bout forgetting actions and doing them properly..
worried bout singing sharp/flat for gethigh..
worried bout not having the "wu tai mei li" element..
worried bout not receiving replies for publicity stuff..
worried bout not being able to meet the datelines..
worried bout parents being called up to go sch cos of my lousy blocks.
SERIOUSLY worried bout my A levels although its 'only' april
ahhhh. wanna beng kui le. :(


im rly glad tt tml's gg to be the last day of the week.
although fri and sat still have gethigh and dance the whole day..
at least i still get part of the time at night off.
where i can seriously start on some sch work.
but i tink prolonged insomnia is making me so tired and sick.
feel weak everyday i go sch.
but i always tell myself tt all these will be gone b4 i noe it.
and i will nv ever get to dance and sing in hc anymore..
sooo i shall juz go all out for it..and focus on june blocks right after this.
and then on As.


but i rly need to learn how to focus now and not fall sick at this crucial period of my jc life.
ahhh..
liting!! muz zhen zuo!!




okay. feel so much better letting everything out now.. :)


and tnx to those who tagged and those who verbally encouraged me! tnx alot! :) im lucky i have u guys to pei me duo guo this nan guan! :) *extreme broken lang*